Thursday, October 19, 2006
10:16 PM Y
The very fact that i am blogging means i am doing anything and everything, except studying. The thought of quitting school lingers subconsciously at the back of my mind and yesterday this topic was brought up by me, again. It's not that i cant cope with anything in school, in fact, everything is running very smoothly.. JCRC, my results.. everything is well. It's just this inertia. And it happens every year, but i will get over this in awhile. Maybe it's the stress, from within. The fear, of not meeting my expectations. The fear, of failing. At times, I think I am putting too much pressure on myself and i hate myself for not putting enough effort, especially in my studies. I H-A-T-E to study and I wont be in uni if not my mom, for my family. Okie, after much ramblings, i hate to say this, but i still hate studying.
By hook or by crook, i HAVE to drag myself to attend the HR lesson tml, even if the PSI reaches a freaking 200, I STILL HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL because the teacher apparently knows that i have been skipping her class and she is haunting for me last week. And so, i HAVE to go. Maybe that's one way to motivate me to go sch, else, i will give that lesson a miss, for the 3rd time. ) :
I am skipping so many lessons in SMU, to the point that i dont feel guilty anymore. In fact, not skipping seminars is UNUSUAL. MUAHAHHA~ HELP ME!
Alright, back to company law!
I LOVE STUDYING. I LOVE STUDYING. I LOVE STUDYING. I hope chanting helps. ( :
